October 3, 2015

20 Days of Memories: Day 2

Last year, I had a "conversation" with the local feline, Smokey, and the results are....weird.

This was posted in October, following the creation of this blog itself!


Hey, Smokey. Happy National Cat Day!

It's National Cat Day! Cats are supposed to feel extra special on this wonderful day.
Do I get special privileges today?

Um, yeah, I guess so.
Great! I've always wanted to taste the difference between Diet Coke and regular Coke.

I don't think I said anything about Coke....
You said us cats get special privileges today so get me a can of Coke! I saw you come home from Walmart yesterday with a whole pack of 12 cans! Hey, can you order pizza while you're at it?

You're thinking a little bit out of the box, Smokey.
The litter box?

No, Smokey. I meant different privileges.
So I can't have pizza?

But it smells so cheesy and saucy!

It isn't healthy for cats to eat pizza, Smokey.
Did you read that on Catster?

No, but I bet many cats have got sick from consuming pizza.
Are you just making up a horror story to scare me?

Look, forget about the pizza.

I know it's hard to take in, but you can't eat pizza, Smokey.
My life is ruined forever.

You've got this far without eating pizza. You'll live.
Okay, good.

Here are some privileges you get on this special day.
Ooh, I hope they're exciting!

Maybe you can have some extra treats....

...a catmint-scented toy....
Keep going.

Some extra attention....
Keep it coming.

That's all I can think of.
What about a Lamborghini?

No, Smokey.
Oh, I forgot, I have to be 16 years old to drive.

That too, but cats aren't allowed to drive, even at 16.
What? Humans are so lucky!

You can do things that humans can't do, Smokey.
Ooh, really? Like what?

Um....you can purr, meow, walk on all fours, and even more! I can't do any of that!
Yeah, but that stuff is boring. Driving and eating pizza sounds fun.

If you're this depressed, maybe I'll go buy you something at Petsmart.
Ooh, how about a goldfish?

No, cats can't have pets, they are pets themselves. Plus, I can't afford a fish tank.
I never said I would keep it as a pet and that it would need a tank. What it needs is salt.

And pepper. And tomato sauce. And garlic powder. And ketchup. That will taste purrfect!

That's animal abuse, Smokey.
It's called the food chain.

Yeah, but I'm not buying a live fish when you have food in your bowl.
So if I didn't have food in my bowl you would buy me a fish to eat?

I would buy you a fish that already died, not a live one.
Oh. Let me go dump the food out of my bowl so you can buy me a fish-a dead one-at Target.

Where are you going to dump the food?
On the floor, in my mouth, who cares? I'm hungry for Salmon! No, Bass! Actually, I'll take tuna!

How about we spend National Cat Day hanging out instead of spoiling you rotten?
But what about the pizza?

Smoky, we already went through this! You can't eat pizza!
Wait, what?

Oh, brother.
What? I like pizza!

Until tomorrow.....

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